The After Dark Collection: Books 1-3 in The Gift Series Page 5

  But not that night.

  She had an early morning interview with the Yankees general manager via remote, so we agreed to go Thursday night.

  By the time Thursday came around, our group of friends had asked what we were up to, and Lily and I turned the night at Edge into a group event, as we often did.

  Jake and Kate and Nina and Adam, and plenty of others would join us.

  We’d all go.

  And that might be just what the dirty doctor ordered.

  5

  Lily

  With me you can have anything.

  His words echoed through my head as I went for a morning run.

  They clanged in my mind, reverberating.

  I wanted everything.

  But could we truly have it all?

  Could we have the closeness I revered? And the wild nights I longed for? As I rounded a curve along the path in the park, I tried to imagine what that would look like. How it would play out.

  The after.

  Would we be the same after my darkest fantasies became real?

  My heart pounded faster and my legs burned as I looked in the crystal ball of my future.

  But it was cloudy. Because you can’t see the future. You have to take chances without knowing the outcome.

  That was the issue. Was this a chance worth taking?

  Amidst the I dos and the marriage licenses, did I want to push for something else too?

  When I finished my run, I showered, dressed for work, and met Nina at our usual coffee shop. She sported her new red glasses.

  “See? They are sexy,” I said.

  “Want to rear-end me?” she joked.

  I chuckled as she grabbed an earl grey latte, her usual, and I ordered a vanilla latte. When it arrived, I laughed again.

  “Are you going to keep that little humor nugget all to yourself?” Nina asked as we brought our drinks to our favorite couch.

  I lifted the mug and smiled. “Just thinking how my favorite drink is a vanilla latte, but I’m not the least bit vanilla.”

  Nina’s brown eyes widened. “Please entertain the virgin with your non-vanilla stories,” she said, taking a drink of her beverage. Nina owned her virginity. She had her reasons for keeping it, and she wasn’t looking to shed it with just anyone at just any moment. She was waiting for the right guy at the right time.

  But I didn’t think she was vanilla. She might not be experienced, but from what she’d told Kate and me, she was experienced in her head. My friend had quite a kinky imagination.

  She’d be open to my quandary. While I didn’t plan to divulge all my wild thoughts, I did want an opinion. After I took a drink, I asked her a question. “Just because you have a fantasy doesn’t mean you should act on it, right?”

  She lifted a brow. “Of course not, but I feel like there’s a lot more to your question.”

  I heaved a sigh, then shared more. “Sometimes I want more. A little something . . . extra.”

  She nodded thoughtfully. “With Finn I presume.”

  “Yes. And I don’t know if I should ask for it.”

  She took another sip, then set down her mug. “Is what you want safe?” I nodded. “Consensual?”

  “I would only do it if it’s consensual,” I said.

  “And does it involve bananas?”

  I cracked up. “There are no bananas in my fantasy.”

  She laughed too, then schooled her expression, turning serious. “I’m a big believer in letting your mind lead. In listening to your imagination. And sometimes if we don’t let them play out, they can eat away at us. So as long as it’s safe and sex positive, then I think fantasies are often worth acting on. And some fantasies, I suspect, can bring you closer. Is this one of those?”

  That was the question.

  I marinated on her advice the rest of the day at the office until my phone pinged with a text.

  I tore my focus away from the research I was doing for my upcoming conference session this weekend to read the note.

  Finn: Tonight, wear something insanely sexy that’ll make me hard all night long.

  Finn: Wait. That’s you in anything and everything.

  Finn: Because I love you.

  The club.

  The last place I’d voiced all my dirty dreams. It had been my idea, my suggestion. The vibe, the music, the feel—it seemed to set me free.

  Could I do it tonight? Say it? Reveal the next level in my after-dark fantasies?

  A knot of worry tightened in me, but right alongside that I felt . . . possibility. Nina’s advice was spot on. Sharing our fantasies had brought Finn and me closer. We were open in the bedroom, and our communication led to steamiest encounters, to the ultimate in intimacy.

  Maybe even to the deep love we shared.

  We had what others longed for, I’m sure.

  Would this fantasy bring us even closer?

  I wrote back to my man.

  Lily: Will you wear your sexy lawyer costume? Because I love seeing you in a suit and tie. Men in ties are hot, but you in a tie is the hottest.

  I sent the note, picturing tonight, hearing his words. You know, with me, you can have anything . . . all you have to do is ask.

  Those words had stayed with me all day. Since he’d said them. They’d been on repeat in my mind.

  They beckoned me to share, to open up.

  Because the other night at the sex-toy shop had been a revelation.

  We’d never gone that far, never pushed those limits to include others. Real people. All our other games had been made-up; all the other people we pretended had seen us were unknown.

  True, I didn’t know the clerk’s name, but he was flesh and blood and all man. He’d been twenty feet away while I went flying off the cliff, Finn’s fingers deep inside me.

  But what shocked me most was Finn. He’d started it. He’d brought the man at the register into our game. He was skating so close to what I’d entertained only in my head.

  Bet you’d even like it if he wanted to have you too.

  Those words from him had detonated me. But they’d seemed to unleash him, too. When we went home that night, we hadn’t even made it through the door. He’d taken me in the car in the parking garage of our building, my wrists pinned over my head, my legs wrapped around his waist.

  He’d been ravenous and harder than I’d ever felt him before. As if he was just as aroused, just as turned on as I was.

  But still, that was only pretend. Simply another aspect of our role-playing.

  That didn’t mean we had to act on it.

  Or maybe, just maybe, it did.

  And perhaps it would bring us even closer.

  That possibility sent a wave of heat across my body. But it wasn’t just the physical closeness. It was so much more.

  It was true intimacy that I constantly sought with Finn. We had that and I wanted us to keep having it.

  Was Nina right?

  Was Kate right?

  And more so, was Finn not only right, but ready?

  * * *

  I absentmindedly kicked one high-heeled foot back and forth, waiting for Kate in a bar at the Luxe Hotel, a gin in my hand.

  I wore a little black dress.

  Because that was what fantasies were for.

  Little black dresses.

  We’d meet Finn at the club, and our friends were coming tonight, too—we operated as a pack.

  Kate arrived at the bar, looking fabulous in black strappy sandals, designer jeans, and a silver top.

  I gave her an approving whistle. “Sexy babe. You should take the best man home tonight.” I couldn’t resist trying to push her and Jake together. That was what friends did—tried to set up their single friends. Jake would be with us tonight, so why not?

  She groaned like she couldn’t take it anymore as she flopped next to me. “Don’t you think if it were going to happen, it would have happened?”

  I scoffed. “Things happen when we’re ready for them.”

  She set a hand
on my elbow, her hazel eyes locking with mine. “Let me level with you. Nothing is going to happen with Jake and me.”

  I pouted. “Why not?”

  She heaved a sigh. “Lily, do I need to spell this out?”

  “Um, maybe you do. Have I mentioned he’s hella hot and so are you and you’d make a great couple?”

  “You are relentless.”

  “Only because I know you’re right for each other,” I said, goading.

  “It’s not in the cards.”

  “Why? Tell me why.”

  She laughed. “I’m. Not. Attracted. To. Him.”

  My jaw came unhinged, then I set the back of my hand on her forehead. “Yes, you do have the flu.”

  “Natch, I’m terribly ill for not being into Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.”

  “Aha!” I pointed at her like I’d caught her in a web of lies. “So, you do admit he’s good-looking.”

  “Just because I can recognize he’s extremely good-looking doesn’t make him my type.” She nudged my waist with her elbow, her voice dipping. “But maybe he’s your type.”

  My brow creased. “What?”

  “Aww. That’s cute how you act all innocent.”

  “It’s not an act.”

  She parked her hands on her hips. “Studies have shown that threesomes work best when the third party is someone you all know and trust.”

  What had she just said?

  Had she said that?

  The notion was a gong banging, waking me up.

  I blinked. Swallowed. My brain went into overdrive.

  Jake?

  The best man?

  The man we knew?

  Could he? Would he? And more so, could I?

  My mind supplied the image. The man who’d been nameless, faceless, in my threesome fantasies suddenly became flesh and blood.

  He became my fiancé’s best friend.

  My pulse soared, and my skin tingled. What if Jake was the other man in my dirty dreams?

  Would that work? Could that work? What would it do to their friendship if things went haywire?

  I didn’t know any of the answers, but my chest tingled as I pictured a new reel of fantasies.

  Fantasies that felt like they could become real.

  So damn real.

  Kate smirked and twirled her index finger in a circle. “I see the spreadsheet columns in your mind adding up.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t speak spreadsheet.” It came out robotically because I was still processing that . . . sum of the columns. That specific sum of the parts.

  Had the nameless, faceless man been in front of me all along?

  “But I do,” Kate said. “And I can tell the sum of you plus Finn plus Jake is looking pretty damn good.”

  I grabbed her arm, whispering, “They’re best friends. Would that be weird? For them?” I had to get her take. She was so smart and sharp. She’d know this. She’d understand it.

  Kate’s eyes glinted. “I don’t know. I guess that’s what you’d have to find out. But I don’t think it’d be awkward for them if it’s what Finn wants for you. And I bet it’s what he wants for you.”

  I was a desperate woman now, focused on this brand new option. “How can you be so certain?”

  “Because Finn is obsessed with your pleasure.”

  She let that statement hang there in the Vegas air. And I couldn’t unhear it. Couldn’t unthink it. She’d homed in on something so obvious I’d nearly missed it. Finn was indeed obsessed with my pleasure. It was the thing that drove him. Me. He loved taking care of me in bed. Even when he was dirty and dominant, he was always focused on making me feel out of this world.

  That’s what he did every night.

  And maybe that was the missing piece I needed to have the courage to speak my desires. The reminder that my fiancé was a man on a mission.

  His mission was me.

  Perhaps I’d be giving him his dirty dreams too—the path to giving me the most pleasure.

  “You may be right,” I said as a new land of possibilities opened before me.

  “I am definitely right,” she replied with a smile. She spun on her heel, tipping her head toward the club. “Want to go?”

  “Yes,” I said and as we wove our way through the casino, soaking in the glamour, the glitz, and the sin, I let myself imagine more specifics than I’d ever imagined before.

  I pictured two men I knew—two men who’d take me to the moon and back. One I loved madly and one I knew quite well, indeed.

  The idea was more tantalizing than I’d ever imagined.

  What a strange and filthy new place my mind was.

  And everything felt more possible than it did before we got off to the Penn Badgley lookalike.

  It felt possible because I understood that we would both get something out of this. I would get my fantasy and Finn would get the chance to fulfill it.

  Was that crazy? Or was it the good kind of crazy?

  * * *

  The line for Edge was long, but Finn called me over to where he stood by the door. The owner, another one of his cousins, let us in. We thanked Brent then headed for the bar, ordering mojitos.

  Seconds later, Nina joined us. “I haven’t seen you in soooo long,” she teased.

  “I know. Let’s never spend more than eight hours apart.”

  “It’s a promise,” she said.

  “Yes. Now, I need a gin and tonic.”

  “Then, you shall have one.”

  We added to the order, and when the drinks arrived, I took the first swallow of my cocktail then tugged Finn closer. I was ready to be in his orbit, not the ones of my friends anymore. I loved my girls madly, but I’d already fueled up from my conversations with them. The different chats with Nina and Kate had emboldened me. I said to my guy, “I know how you love mojitos. Taste it on me.”

  He obliged, claiming my lips, sucking on my tongue.

  “Don’t let us interrupt anything.” Jake must have just shown up, and his voice thrummed through me, my pulse spiking.

  Had his voice always been this sexy?

  I broke the kiss, feeling a sliver of guilt. I should be arrested for fantasizing about my almost-husband’s best friend. But truthfully, I knew myself, knew my mind. The fantasies weren’t about Jake—they were about me. About Finn and me, and about our love life.

  I’d never entertained dirty dreams of sleeping with other men.

  I didn’t even think of Jake that way after Kate had planted the seed.

  I only pictured the three of us—or really, the two men servicing me.

  All my dreams were of us together. Finn, me, and another man.

  I tried my best to table those thoughts as Adam arrived. He and Nina lived in the same building, on the same floor in fact. They’d always had a friendly teasing vibe between them. And fine, maybe I had a little matchmaker in me, but I could see them together too. Except, she’d probably deny it as vociferously as Kate had.

  “At last, the party can start. I am here,” Adam said, arms held out wide, like arriving royalty.

  “Yes, yes. We wouldn’t deign to start without you,” Nina deadpanned.

  “Good answer,” he said with a wink.

  “The only answer,” she said and for a second, my mind wandered again to after dark affairs. Nina had talked about fantasies and I wondered if hers involved him at all.

  And if his involved her.

  Or maybe fantasies were simply on my mind. Adam snagged a whiskey and the six of us toasted to the coming weekend and caught up on work, while I kept my mind on the moment, not on after-dark options.

  It worked for a while, and soon Jake ordered another round for all of us. We all seemed to flow in and out of each other’s conversations—Adam and Nina were wrapped up in a conversation about the best new podcasts on science and travel, with Kate and Finn weighing in, while I took the lead when the talk turned to sports.

  As I knocked back more of the drink, Finn banded an arm around my waist possessively. He dipp
ed his face to my neck, kissing me. A groan seemed to rumble up his chest as I turned to face him.

  He sealed his mouth to mine, hard and rough in front of our friends, something he’d done countless times before.

  But I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was claiming me. I wasn’t sure if his roughness meant something or nothing.

  When he broke the kiss, I arched a brow. “Are you marking me?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t have to mark you to know you’re mine.” That answered my question; he wasn’t marking me. And it reconfirmed that his faith in us as a forever thing was so damn strong, he didn’t have to claim me.

  He’d already done so for all intents and purposes.

  “I’m always yours,” I said. I grabbed his hand and tugged him to the dance floor, eager to feel that sultry freedom.

  We joined the sea of beautiful people on the dance floor. Time to get lost in the music, to let it move through me.

  Finn danced smoothly. His hips swayed side to side as he brought me close, my ass against his pelvis. He was subtle, moving in a long, indulgent kind of rhythm, and I was even more aroused in seconds.

  That was when I took the next step.

  My eyes wandered, roaming the club, picturing male bodies, moving them like chess pieces around my sexual fantasy board. A knight here, a bishop there.

  None got me closer to what I’d envisioned earlier until my gaze drifted to the bar.

  To our crew of friends.

  Jake’s crooked grin had spread on his face as he chatted with them, oblivious to us. Stubble lined his jaw, and I wondered briefly what that faint trace of a beard would feel like on my breasts, my belly, my thighs.

  Yes, he was the third person.

  It had to be him.

  I shivered, and Finn gripped my waist tighter, yanking my body closer. “You’re watching our friends,” he whispered roughly in my ear.

  I swallowed, and worried briefly that I’d been caught stealing.

  But nothing in his voice suggested anger. Everything in it spoke of desire, underlined by that same confidence he possessed when he’d talked about marking me, about not needing to. Perhaps the reason he wasn’t jealous was that he knew who I went home to.